"True" Love - a conversation

I can't even remember who I had this conversation with, but thought I might share some insight on the nature of love etc. here. I may edit this later into a real article/essay and expand upon the ideas.
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do you really believe there is true love in this world? and what is true love in your opinion..? don't laugh at me , it is not simply a question of naivete..

i understand... won't laugh
i really don't know that there is such a thing called "true love"
just picking apart the words.... "true".. is a value judgment... is one type of love more "true" than others?? I don't think so...
you either have love or you don't have love
now love in my view had more to do with a genuine appreciation for another human being
by that i mean... an ability to have that person be perfect in your eyes without any changes...
oh
there is this emotional thing that is often mistaken for love
a certain "buzz" in a way... whereby you can't stop thinking about the other person...
the "falling in love" type of love
but i am not so sure that that is the love that will last long as the 2 people see more and more of each others faults as they get to know each other better
falling in love usually ends up in falling out of love
as the 2 people are more in love with "love" than with each other... are in love with the feeling of love
but there is a type of love between parents and children and between people who share their lives with each other... that is very much one of deep connection to each other and genuine caring for each other
i think this romantic idea of "true love" is something that really isn't real
but is a very appealing idea

then,why do men and women form and keep a steady relationship ? since the love is merely a feeling, and a feeling would be changed, and as we all know,humanbeing is complex,changing , why do women and men count for a steady relationship? why they are so sensitive about the"betray","playboy,playgirl", why do some of women don't wanna have sex with men if there were no emotion involved in?

all good questions
sometimes they do it out of habit
a sense of security
of familiarity
i mean staying together over a long time..
also because of children and a desire to provide a good home for them
people in general are deep down afraid of other people...
afraid of getting hurt..
so they stick together... and hold on.. even when sometimes.. its best to just let go
in English there is a saying.... "better the devil you know, than the devil you don't know"
so fear keeps a lot of people together...
and i hate "fear".. because it is rooted in just a perception of the future....is fantasy in a way and that is not real

the feeling of loving someone and being loved is very nice, but such feeling could never last long..

i tend to believe just that
it is a wonderful feeling
but would not last long...
but as soon as you try to hold on to it.. to make it last long.. it disapears

why?
because instead of just being with the person.. being in love with the person.... you are now focussed on the negative.. the fear of loss.... and that turns love into shit
and gets into issues of control..
of trying to mold the other person
all of the sudden they are no longer "perfect"
as they are
but someone who needs to be changed...
or controlled..
its sad
oh..
i know there is a lot of philosophy in what i say, but that is how i see things at this point in time

Memorial for a Wonderful Person

I had 4 younger brothers as I grew up and now I have 3.

My brother Pete died of natural causes in January 2002, and I thought I would share what I wrote for his funeral. It is not morbid, but full of life in reflection of the wonderfulness that my brother embodied. I turned him on to Daoist thought at an early phase of his life, and he lapped it up and lived it the rest of his life. "Up a Tree" was the name of his remote spread of land in Northern California, and Calvin the name of his dog who is still living with my youngest brother.

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Where is Pete?

nestled in a bed of sweet smelling sinsimilia
marveling at a mist strewn mountain landscape

Where is Pete?

the ultimate lost boy in never never land
not caring for the conventional and never ever growing up
what for? says he.

Where is Pete?

living for the moment with a sense of awe
following the unfolding of life’s little wonders
nature’s boy deeply attuned to the natural order of things.

Where is Pete?

Landscape artist communing with the trees, rocks and animals.
Calvin’s best friend – Mr. Hobbes himself mischievously adventuring in this “awe”some world.

The only man who could hide his own easter eggs!!

Where is Pete?

Disc Golf King of Up A Tree – throwing UFO’s here and there, cultivating magic herbs for his friends to share. Fearlessly joy riding with his neat toys.

Where is Pete?

Flitting here and there as a hummingbird delighting his friends, honking as a goose and buzzing the world with his electric energy.

Hanging in a tree with his Cheshire cat grin, jumping off into a misty abyss to forever cavort with his spirited friends.

Where is Pete?

A gentle gentle gentleboy, a gentleman farmer, a sweet and kind soul communing with his plants and living his dream in Up A Tree land. An aspiring sustainable biodynamic farmer.

A raconteur, spreading his stories far and wide entertaining most generously in his magic faerie place on the mountain.

Pete, Peter, Pizza

What is in a name? Feeling Holy on Red Rock, rivaling his namesake at the pearly gates, nibbling a cabbage as a cottontail, eating summer pumpkins, and generously spreading Pan’s magic fairy dust far and wide.

P. G. C.

Free at last of the physical, free of his identity, free of the ever broken down body he inhabited. We have all benefited from his free spirit for 40 great years, and Pete through this incarnation gave great joy and wisdom to all who could hear his message.

Peter never grew up and we all loved him for that. He had a wonderful life. He loved and was loved in return.

Peter’s passing into the natural world of free spirits is not something to be mourned, but rather something to be celebrated. He lives on in the memories of all those who were privileged to know him. He is now truly free to cavort and play, having transcended all that is mundane and physical

Peter gave great joy to all who knew him, he lit up the prison and lit up Northern California with his herbal wonders.

It was a tremendous privilege to have been blessed with a brother like Pete. To have helped an old soul with the discovery of his course in life.

May his inspiration live on in all of us. His flame forever burning brightly for those who love what is magical and beyond words in this plane of existence.

Forever a beacon of love, freedom and playfulness.

I love you Pete.


T. C. January 27, 2002

PINGS

I wrote this poem a few years ago.... and thought, what the heck.. why not publish it here

PINGS

a cooling wind slowly caresses her skin
so so alive with full senses extended outwards
psychic fronds of nerves
vibrating, sensing
swaying, scanning and waiting for a
pin prick of energy, a drop of light from the source

her energy feels outwards in arcs
a sensory radar
wound tight in anticipatory preparedness
for a ping
a ping of light
of warm sensual energy that on contact
diffuses through her body
in pulsating waves of heat
filling her fully with
a comfortable throbbing wave of connectedness
that banishes the separate and lights up
the world in glowing rainbows of glittering light

just a spark, a glimmer, an incoming signal with such powerful means
waiting in anticipation, nerve fronds swaying
and scanning, vibrating and sensing
searching for that vibrant spark of enveloping warmth

on how many levels can beings connect?
can surrender and vibrate in harmonious synchronicity,
in a spiraling dance to connectedness?

am feeling philosophical and poetic ...
the beautiful moon is rising, and the stars are radiant.
Everything is so lusciously green and the trees are so big and old and strong here.

Some Musings on Cliffs

Cliffs:
edges?
boundaries to nowhere?
marking points
containers and directors of water flows

from below Cliffs are imposing
looming up from the sea
or from the river...
water frothing and spitting at their base
where the waters of venus meet the mountains of mars

Carlos Castaneda took a leap of faith off a cliff to shamanistic visions
Many these days jump/fly off with Wings off carbon and silk
tied to the ordinary, but flirting with exhiliration

most just hold back
afraid of the unknown, the unseeable, the unimaginable
fearing chaos
a failure of imagination, a retreat to safety
a reliance on that which is known or said to be known
fettered by habits, by consensus realities
secure in their cocoons of safe mediocrity

The cliff jump is a jump towards aliveness
the ultimate risk, an act of exposing all
for all to view
externally trembling cold, but flushed from within

The Cliff is a marker.... the divide from the material to ephemeral

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Clefts are Cliffs inversed
Deep and mysterious
inviting to be explored
Caves to be spelunked
despoiled

approaching tenderly
rappelling with teasing caresses
cautious peering
secrets secreted deep within

Yin Embraces Yang

Yin shapes Yang
water always carves to its own liking
yielding yet shaping
feeding on solidity
can the yang be tamed?

Peaks spiralling toward the sky
upwardly yearning for clouds of mist
whose tears fall as water
notching the mountains
with deep mysterious gullies
enfolding and encompassing
soft and gentle
undulating
mesmerizing
slowly relentlessly
wearing Yang down to be
shaped to Yin's liking

does the watery yielding always prevail?
feeding itself on rock hard solids
feeling the unwavering hardness
taming/shaping their men with enticing mysteries?

Oh powerful Yin,
waving and weaving
caressing and shaping
so seductive in her dance with his roughness
so smooth, so sugary sweet
so enticing, so dangerous
and yet so comforting

the weak so powerful
the powerful so weak
marvelous paradoxes
that make life so interesting

A beginning

connecting minds over oceans and continents
my first serious blog
to share insights, writing, and plain old philosophizing
to explore the edges of the art of revelation

to be continued.......